05-08...06-30-05: Follow the Screen Names II

finally, I contacted some professors (for the readers’ sake, I’ll keep the conversations to myself, it’s such a long story :P)

…

the day before my meeting with Dr.Rubino, I was so stress out, I had 6-7 meals hoping the food would calm me down…it’s work though :P

…

it turned out to be quite good beginning to me…there’re 3-4 projects available and all of them were fascinating !

there’s one with biodegradable pot, but since I have to get back to teach Food Technology, I don’t think it’s the project for me…another one was something about packaging system design for canola oil, it’s just didn’t feel right to me

so it came down to 2 projects, the one with active packaging system design for poultry meat and another one with co-permeation of organic compounds

the co-permeation thing was, for me, interesting – since nobody has done it before, and it will be easy to deal with, ‘coz there’s only permeation, solubility and diffusion stuff…that will require only a short period of time to get all these done

the poultry packaging one…well, let’s see what I need to do if I chose it:

Antimicrobial test of ClO2 gas on 5-6 pathogenic bacteria…I’ll need to be train to deal with pathogen (even though I have dealt with them both in BS and MS…it’s the US, people !) and have to pass the training to receive the certificate…, then the work can start :(

permeation, solubility and diffusion and other stuff of 3 types of packaging materials

packaging design…I’ll get the honor of using the newest software in packaging design…and, of course, I’ll need to be trained to use it

Shelf-life determination which include sensory evaluation (It’ll need to be approved from the ethic committee which require extensive paper work) and other stuff involve instrumental testing…and training

Biodegradability of the package after used

…

…it’s no comparable…., but if you want to do something, why do it the easy way ?

…

after all, packaging design, active packaging, biodegradable packaging, shelf-life determination…are things I wish I have a chance to learn

…now I can learn them all :)

…it will be tough…it will take such a long time…, but it will be fun :)

…

Like Elle character in Legally Blonde said in the last scene

On our very first day at Harvard a very wise professor quoted Aristotle... "the law is reason free from passion." Well...no offense to Aristotle, but in my three years at Harvard I have come to find that passion is a key ingredient to the study and practice of law...and of life. It is with passion, courage of conviction, and strong sense of self that we take our next steps into the world. Remembering that first impressions are not always correct, you must always have faith in people, and most importantly...you must always have faith in yourself. Congratulations class of 2004...we did it!

…doing everything with passion seems to be the only way I want to live my life…

…

days after I told Dr.Rubino I was interested in working with her in poultry packaging project, I was assigned to help her writing proposal for fund application

…I got it done (at least for now) two days before my departure date…

it doesn’t matter how the application goes…I’m coming home :)

…

Holland

During those working time though, I had change my screen name several time…and they’re all worth talking about…

Giraffe-P: ...As hard as the secret is uncovered, …It’s even harder to keep...

I got it form the show name ‘The closer’…it is about the CIA interrogator name Brenda… http://alt.tnt.tv/tntoriginals/closer/ …the show is amazing, but non of my friends here seem to like it :P

I tried to spent my last couple days here the way I want…

at 3 pm, on the grass, under the tree, near Red Cedar river, in the heat of summer

yes…I wish I could lay on the grass all days…thinking about things in life

Ever since I told people here, I wish one day I’ll have a Pug dog name Cha-ba, Turk always try to find way to turn it into some kind of educational joke like changing his screen name to include the anagram (he’s crazy about ‘DaVinci Code’) like :

Evil knight hijack tulip – Packaging MSU = A Smacking Pug

that’s when I need to do something about it…

Giraffe-P: ...A Smacking Pug = Cha-ba, the dog of my dream...:)

Giraffe-P: … - A pug ?...Hey ! don't refer to Cha-ba as 'smacking'...she's the dog of my dream !

555…who say maturity comes with age ?…

My current screen name is:

Giraffe-P: …’Death is freedom, Life is a lesson’ – Jonny Kennedy - http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,7-1040286,00.html

It’s for Jonny Kennedy, I don’t know him, but I know a bit about how he lives his life…

…

Now I feel a bit sad, coming home means I have to leave here…and surely when I got back everything will not gonna be the same…people change all the time…I juts hope I still have my friends…

I’ll leave you with this post from someone in qaftalk.com …it’s sad, but it’s ture…

…Just because you say you love someone and you'll be back, doesn't mean you'll be back in the same capacity. It's like when a friend moves away you say you'll keep in touch that you'll see each other all the time. But deep down you know it's over and you're grasping at straws at that point. Saying what you think the other person wants to hear in that moment….

With Prang, Mod and P'Oh (Captured by Turk)

05-08...06-30-05: Follow the Screen Names I

Well…I’m not really sure where to start :P…it’s been quite a while I didn’t update my life…

…probably the most effective way is to tell the tale around my MSN screen name

My couple of first screen name I used during the passed month, if you can remember, have every thing to do with the word ‘ABARAT’…If I’m remember correctly they’re:

ABARAT: http://www.thebooksofabarat.com/content4/xbarat99.html, and

ABARAT: Days of Magic, Nights of War

ABARAT is the world that ‘where is when’…it has 25 islands, each island represents each time of day with the 25^th island as the 25^th hour…the time out of time…see how fascinating it is to be in Abarat ?…it’s one my favorite book…though only few people read it :)

The Abarat concept was sold to Disney. It’s expecting to be in the theater in year 2005-2006…

Anyway, both screen names demonstrated the fact that all I did during that time was reading the books I love…and did things I wish to do

In the heat of summer

Apart from reading Abarat book I and II, I finished preparing teaching material for P’Ae’s course, Post Harvest, it’s 78 pages long with more than 100 figures and graphs for demonstration…and almost finished the letter for each of my FT1 students I promised I’ll give to them months ago :P

Speaking of teaching, I feel excited and scare in the same time to go back to teach again…I hope it will be fun for me and the students…all I want is to give to them, the knowledge I waited for 7 years to learn …I wish for them to learn these in their BS, so they will know a lot more than me when I was 20…

But I remember how much I hate sitting in the room and listen to the teacher…that’s the scary part…not for me…all I want is to give…it’s sad if someone didn’t receive what they should get :( …well, we’ll see how it goes…

So I spent most of the time before noon and after 8 pm preparing the material and, almost every afternoon, sitting outside near the Red Cedar River with Turk --- trying to read Abarat book II…, but ending up talk about every thing in life with him instead.

…it turned out we have a lot in common…it’s good to know there’re somebody as weird as you living in this world hahaha :)

Prang was away during those time, but I’ve always kept her posted :)…

…

Then I think I changed my screen name to something like:

Giraffe-P: …Someday we’ll know why I wasn’t meant for you...

well, there’s nothing much…just like the song…it’s ‘Someday we’ll know’…

I first heard it when I saw A Walk to Remember…and I like it at once :)

It represented the time when I lived my life the way I want…, but there’re some other things in my mind too, like – applying for Michigan driving license and getting start on my thesis…

Have you ever felt like you have an urge to do something necessary, but don’t know how to start or even scare to get started, ‘coz you have no idea how it’s gonna turn out or you have no idea how you are gonna do it

I call it, hibernating time – the time we need before start something new, the time we need to overcome things we don’t recognize – and that makes it scary – to begin new phase in our life…

…I usually need 1-2 weeks before I feel confident enough to do something completely new to me, some people need a lot more time than that…and some need only 1-2 h to get ready to welcome new experiences

this time I stayed in this stage for almost a month !

…well, think about it, choosing Major supervisor meaning the potential PhD thesis topic – the field of science you will most likely to have to work with it for the rest of your life – how scary would that be ?

…but I have to tell you living with the doubt of how it will turn out is something more stressful…

…yet, I lived like that all May.

…

05-05+06+07-05: 1 Exam, 1 Convocation Ceremony, 1 hell of a Party and 1 Rotted Honeydew III

I went into Mod’s bedroom…she’s not there…I knocked on Prang’s room…no answer…was I a sole survivor ?...I quietly opened P’Kerk’s room…and I heard a very loud snore…Terk’s here…it’s not a resident evil after all :P

…I walked back to Mod’s room and felt asleep on her couch…

…around 11:30 am Prang woke me and Mod up and offered us couple of chocolate-chip waffles…we talked like we didn’t talk to each other for weeks…then around 1:30 pm we went to check on Turk.

He was watching ‘the Cell’…one of our favorite movies

I, Prang and Mod cleaned the room, while Turk occasionally went to the bathroom to…throw-up…

Around 2:30 pm…Turk decided to continue his after-drinking action at his place, so he went home…

I walked home around 3 pm…with shabby purple pants and black T-shirt (it’s Prang’s cloths…for bed)…blue sneakers…2,000 bahts handbag…2 books…and a big grocery plastic bag filled with my dress for yesterday’s convocation ceremony…it was my worst and funniest outfit ever !

…

The first thing I did when I got to my room was taking a shower…, then I slept ‘til 8 pm…

…

When I was up, I started to clear the grocery I bought yesterday before went to P’Kerk’s apartment…

That’s when I saw the rotted honeydew on the top of my fridge…

Disgusting, I tried to move it to the garbage…by pulling the paper sheet beneath it…

That’s when I heard the sound of something filled with water exploded…and the honeydew (only its outer peel remained solid) filled with fluidized pulp and seeds…exploded.

...

The liquid with not-so-good smell poured down my huge fridge…to the floor and covered half of my kitchen floor…

...

...

I have no idea how much liquid can be filled in the sphere with the size of the rather-big honeydew…I know now

…so I spent my next 2 and a half hour to clean up this mess (and other 3 hr for the fridge to dry enough to turn it on)…I had to move the stove and the fridge off the corner to clean the back of the fridge and the floor beneath it…my nostril (and also my entire apartment) was filled with the smell of fermented and rotted honeydew liquid…

…

I went to bed around 2 am…with bad smell…

...

05-05+06+07-05: 1 Exam, 1 Convocation Ceremony, 1 hell of a Party and 1 Rotted Honeydew II

I woke up real early to wait for P’Oh’s phone call to tell me when and where she wants me, Prang, Mod and Turk to help with the moving.

11 am…and still no phone call from P’Oh…

the only thing I did during that time was talking to Turk via MSN…the man was in a very good mood (it’s his big day)…we started from he sending me pics which he took at PKG building yesterday (I asked for them ‘coz I wanted to make some memorable pics for him)…at the end of our 3 h picture transferring…I was quite sure he got most of the pics on my computer and vise versa…now he know what my students look like, how my mom dress when she cook and how chaos it is when we have a family party.

2:30 pm…and still no sign of P’Oh’s request for help…, so Prang told me to mind only my own business and get ready for convocation ceremony tonight

about 2:45 pm…P’Oh called and told me not to help even though she still has to move lots of big things and will take around 2-3 more driving from Owen Hall to Spartan village…though I got the silent message that she dying for me to tell her I’ll help her anyway…I said OK…I’m not gonna help.

I’ve been repeatedly asked P’Oh…when and how she’ll move out for weeks…and I called everyday for the last two days before her moving day and offered my help…even the morning of the moving day…and she said she still don’t have an exact plan…she told me she doesn’t think I need to be there to help her…, so I figured I’d better find something to eat and get dress ‘coz the ceremony start at 5 pm.

But I couldn’t help calling Turk and asked him to help P’Oh (he lives in Spartan village too…and his room was only 50 m from P’Oh’s)…that’s why he was almost an hour late from the photograph appointment at the ceremony :P

We got in the Breslin Center around 5:30 pm…and left Turk to continue his ceremony with his fellow MSc graduated student around 7 pm…I, Prang, Mod and P’Dung had dinner at P’Bim’s apartment

We waited for Turk ‘til 9:30 pm…and decided to go shopping at Meijer, then wait for him at P’Kerk’s apartment instead.

When we got to Meijer’s parking lot, Turk called and told us he’s just finished the ceremony and will join us after he had his quick dinner somewhere…alone…We told him to go straight to P’Kerk’s place ‘coz P’Bim brought food for him.

…

With his hungry face in mind, I, Mod and Prang did the quickest shopping in our life…we practically ran to every shelf and fridge our target items were in…

Imagine 3 very-well-dressed women running and shouting to pick up foods in grocery store :P…I totally understand if people thought we’re on drug or something close to that.

And I do think they thought so, ‘coz people were avoid to stand in our path every time we went to shelves and fridges for food items…:P

…

Turk was still in his gown when we arrived at P’Kerk’s place (Prang and Mod lived in the same floor with P’Kerk)

I was preparing food for Turk when others got change and pick-up alcohol stuff…he told me he was ‘broadcast’ his ceremony to his family in Thailand, so I asked him did that include the girl ‘M’…with his red cheeks, he smiled and told me we all have to get our priorities in place :)

…

We started the celebration around 11 pm…, after his first glass of something alcoholic, I lured Turk to did the fortune-telling thing…and both times the never-been-used playing card told us, his former girlfriend is probably in love with other guy…

…I felt like I’s partly responsible for Turk’s straight-from-dusk-til-dawn drinking…’coz after saw the card, the man was deeply engaged in his drinking ‘til 5 am.

:(

…

during that time, I had 1 small glass of lemon cocktail (as everybody who knows me know that I don’t drink, gamble and dance…this one alcoholic drink meant I was totally give in with everybody) and spent most of the time reading ‘ABARAT’ on the carpet floor and talking on the couch.

While P’Bim and P’Dung were half drinking, half talking to Turk.

Mod and Prang were talking with me and P’Bim and sometimes felt asleep.

…

around 4 am, I, Prang and Mod went out for a walk around the apartment…the weather was so fresh…the moist from fog and chilling wind reminded me of the time I laid down on the road in the national park with my undergrad friends in the middle of the night and the time I walked or drove home with Off and others…It was a great feeling…

…

when we were back, Turk started to throw-up…and it continued ‘til I, Prang and Mod went to bed around 8 am…

…I woke up on the carpet floor in Mod’s room…nobody’s there…the room was empty and quiet…I felt like I was in ‘Resident evil’ movie :P…

05-05+06+07-05: 1 Exam, 1 Convocation Ceremony, 1 hell of a Party and 1 Rotted Honeydew I

The last PKG 815 exam was on Thursday from 10 am to noon…, but I got bored and left the room 30 min before the deadline…don’t get me wrong…it’s not ‘coz I’m sure I’ll get a full mark or anything…but it’s nothing else I could do…

Let’s see…there’s 3 2-page-long calculations and other 4 half-to-two-page-long writing questions…I’m sure I got 2 calculations and 2 writing correct…for the other 2 writing, I knew I got some part right…, but not sure I will get full mark…for another calculation question…I’m sure I got all the calculation methods correct…, but not sure I got the correct answer…’coz there’s one key word I didn’t recognize what it is…it’s the activation energy value with the unit of ‘deg-mole’

What in the name of god is ‘deg-mole’ ?

I stared at the word for 10 mins, then decided that no matter what it is I’ll treat it as ‘mole’…and proceed with the correct calculation methods…, so I’ll get full mark on the correct method…and hopefully almost-full-mark on the probably-not-a-correct answer :P

And ‘til now I still don’t know for sure what ‘deg-mole’ is…the scientific dictionary said that it’s the abbreviation of ‘degree’…, if that’s the case…deg-mole can be simplify as just ‘mole’…so why on earth did Dr.Rubino put it in the unit in the first place ?...I sensed the possibility of stupidity testing from her…probably just to trick us…if so,…she totally got me :)

…

Heck,…since I got 98 and 100 for the first two exam…and 99, 98 and 98 for the first 3 reports (not sure what I got for the forth and the term paper and the presentation though), I figured being 5-10 marks shy from a hundred (which will be divide by 5 to give 20 marks in final grading) will still be an A for me…plus it’s rare occasion to loose some point on my stupidity…I walked out off the room with just a little hesitation.

…

then I, Turk and Prang met with Mod for lunch at Omi restaurant, my…or better say…I and Turk’s favorite place.

Then we went back to PKG building for Turk to take picture with PKG people

...


From left to right: P'Kate, me, Turk and Prang

…

The next day, May 6^th, was Turk’s convocation ceremony…and also P’Oh’s moving day

05-02-05: …with Turk

I’m not at all surprise…that one day this guy will be used as my topic

The thing I’m surprise is what the topic is about…

…

It’s Monday, May 2^nd…and we (= P’Oh, Turk, Prang and I) had only Tuesday and Wednesday to prepare for the last PKG 815 exam. Yet we went to PKG building to hand Dr.Rubino our Term project report…mine was 4 pages of results and discussion with 28 pages of appendix only on calculations.

Around 11 something we want to International building for lunch…and, as usual, (long) talk.

It began with general topic…then getting specific, by P’Oh, on Turk’s former girlfriend…which I and Prang were dying to know…

I don’t know what got to him, ‘coz after 4 months of repeated asked questions from me and Prang…and he didn’t answer a thing…that day he told us all about this former girlfriend of his…which I think it’s best to call her just ‘M’.

If you knew someone for awhile, you’ll know who are important to them by the way they’re talking about or referring to those people.

And when I saw his face when he talked about this M…I know the man is in love…’coz when he’s with me or Prang…he’s always act like a boy…, this was the first time I saw him as a man…and it was touching somehow…to see someone love their special person deeply…

After 4-5 h of ‘Exclusive with Turk’, I, Turk and Prang went to Omi restaurant, Japanese restaurant, for a dinner…we ate and talked ‘til 8 pm…

Omi Restaurant

I and Prang still don’t believe how much Turk opened up to us that day…

For me, I still don’t believe how much Turk’s changed during just 4 months that I know him giving that, according to Prang, he’s never been like this since she knew him 2 years ago.

…

guess that’s why I’m growing to love this boy…’coz beneath those sarcastic and ironic talks is a very care and loving person…to his friends and his love ones.

04-30-05: Someday We'll Know...

…

Someday we'll know…If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know…Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know…Why I wasn't meant for you

Does anybody know the way to Atlantis ?
Or what the wind says when she cries ?
I'm speeding by the plae that I met you for the 97th time.... tonight

Someday we'll know…Why Sampson loved Deliah
One day I'll go dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know…That I was the one for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
I watched the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question

Why aren't you here with me.......tonight

…

I feel kindda strange these days

It’s a combination of the feeling that something good is about to happen…and the doubt about what exactly is going to happen…

…

though I got tons of works to do…reports, home-works and exams

every time I look up toward the bright sky through the freshly-green leaves…I smile

every time I heard stupid joke from PKG people…I laugh real loud

…

well…there’re lots of happy moment for me these days

…

partly because it’s spring

partly because my first semester is about to end…I’m not really care how it’s gonna end…all I care is it’s almost over !

partly because…I don’t know…

everything’s great !

…

yesterday there’re lots of things happen

First, I handed the last report for PKG815…I’m done for the lab report (still have a project report though)

Second, Turk has his defense…without any surprise, he passed…and I have got to say…apart from his what-are-you-thinking haircut…he looked a lot better in a gray suit

Third, I, Prang, Turk and P’Kerk went to a farewell barbecue party for exchange students in accounting (4 girls…and one of them seems to catch Turk’s eyes :P)

We had such a great time :)

After finished the meat, we moved to fry marshmallow…it was so good

…

the time when we gathered to fry marshmallow in a quite cold and dark backyard of P’Tul and P’LukNok’s house …reminded me of the time I spent with my undergrad friends at Ann’s get-away house.

I never thought I’ll have a chance to go this far…far beyond what I’ve ever wanted…and far from home

…

I still couldn’t figure out why I feel this way these days

But I think it’s important for you to know…that I still here…feeling great

…and no matter how I feel, where I go or who I’m with…I'm still thinking of you…

…

Someday we'll know…If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know…Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know...Why I wasn't meant for you

…

Someday we’ll know…

...

...

In case you are wondering...how we are doing...

...

...



















...

...

we are doing great !...thanks :)

...

...


04-07-05: A confession of a confused mind

OK…I’m a bit confused about my ability to recognize myself…

…

let starts back on March 31^st, PKG815 2^nd exam…

I somehow felt like I’m not ready to take the exam…I felt like I didn’t have any knowledge to put in the exam paper…and really wanna kick myself ‘coz I wasted too much time on watching the shows and enjoy eating foods during the last week before the exam…besides on the night before the exam…I got a nerve, so all I did was watching tv all night…I just started reading seriously around 11 pm…and went to be around 2 am

…

this time there’re only 4 question (plus 2-3 sub-questions each), 2 calculating questions and other 2 were review questions.

The calculating questions were a nightmare…’coz all graphs and data were provided when we did the exercise, so when I saw both questions…it took me 5 min to realize and assure myself that I need to plot 2 graphs to be able to answer the questions !...and please note that it’s not the easy digit like 10,000…it’s 12,873…5694…etc. :(

I finished the first 2 questions as fast as I could…and didn’t have time to re-check any answers.

The review questions were the end of the world…since this course is one of the first 2 courses I took in my FIRST semester here…and that didn’t include the knowledge of injection blow molding, stretch blow molding, biaxial-orientation or un-balanced orientation and also their effects of the properties of the amorphous phase above and below Tg temperature (I’m sorry if all these words scare you :P)…, so when the question ask for the analysis of the effect of these scary words on permeability, diffusion and sorption…I freaked…

I turned pages and pages of reading material back and forth…and finally assume that something involved injection surely had something to do with heat (thanks to Food Processing I :) ) and that had to be related to oriented-melt…now, something that was stretched would probably don’t need heat…so that meant it’s cold draw…and the rest of the exam was as chaotic as I told you.

…

I was the third person to finish the exam…, of course, after Turk :)

…

During the walk back to PKG building and the lunch at international center, we compared the answer…I had the feeling I used the wrong sets of equations for question 1 and 2…and I answered question 3 without any knowledge of the thing they asked…for the 4^th question, I felt pretty good…, so I told Prang that I expect only 80-90 (from 100) for this exam…and she said I’ll get higher than 90, so we made a bet that if I got mark higher than 92 she will have the right to slap me as hard as she want to…and vice versa

…I was really confident that I’ll not be the one who will be attacked…

…

today, when I walked into the room, I saw the graph showed all students’ mark…and when the class began, Dr.Rubino gave each of us our exam-paper…

the typical way to gave back the paper which has mark on it to the student was to roll them into cylinder shape with the given mark inside…

P’Oh was the first Thai student to get the paper…she got only 70…I turned to look at Prang and told her that I couldn’t breath properly…she said her heart was about to stop…

Turk was next, and once I saw his usual superior smile…I knew that he got full mark…no surprise for Mr.Perfect…the man’s the real deal :)

Dr.Rubino handed Prang’s paper and then mine…I felt a bit clumsy and dizzy when I stretch the paper to look at the mark…, so I was really surprise when Prang started hitting me with her rolled exam paper…

…

well…

…

2nd Exam

…

I don’t know what to say…

…

I felt like I can’t recognize my own ability…but come to think of it…it may not has anything to do with me…it was probably the lack of ability of Dr.Rubino to check whether the answer was given by the student who truly understand the topic or just lucky to get it right …

I felt uneasy…giving that I and Turk are the only two who got perfect 100…, but I have no idea how I got it, while Turk know exactly what to answer…and he know more beyond than the answer he gave.

…

anyway…let me assure you this…please not be intimidated by the person who got high mark or academic honor…the true genius one will need more than that to be recognized…and, believe me, you’ll know when you’ve met one :)

04-04-05: Road to Detroit

I woke up at 7 am for a hurry shower and quick breakfast.

P’Kerk picked me up around 8:20 am for a trip to Detroit. We packed in P’Kerk’s small car…with P’Kerk and Turk in the front…I, Prang and Mod in the back…

Around 10, we got to Detroit…it was the city that past its shining moment…if you know what I meant…the evidence of civilization and sophistication are everywhere…

Somehow it made me a bit sad to see those old and not-so-well-preserved buildings…seems to me (and lots of people) that this city is dying…

It was the time when I saw the Canadian border that I realized how close I am…to home…if home is the place you can find peace…then I definitely have more than one home now :)

We took a lot of photograph (by Mod and Terk) at US border…I stuck mostly with Prang…as Terk and Mod busy took pics of each other…:P

Then we had lunch at Greek restaurant…and visited Thai restaurant, then P’Pu, Prang’s big sister, and Jasmine, P’Pu’s dog at her house…

…

we got to E. Lansing around 7 pm…

…

to clear spaces for dinner, we went out for a walk.

...

after watching shows, basketball, and lots of talk, Terk dropped me off at the apartment around 12:30 am…

Detroit, April 4th, 2005

…

…

sometimes during the trip to Detroit today I heard this song…

Hello my friend, we meet again
It's been awhile, where should we begin?
Feels like forever
Within my heart are memories ff perfect love that you gave to me
Oh, I remember

When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice

We've seen our share of ups and downs
Oh how quickly life can turn around in an instant
It feels so good to reunite

Within yourself and within your mind
Let's find peace there

When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice

…

and couldn’t help thinking back to the time when P’Ae drove Off and me to Kanchanaburi…wondering, how amazing it would be if I had this trip with them…

...

...

When you are with me, I'm free, I'm careless, I believe above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes…My sacrifice

…

well,…something’s gotta give, right ?

04-01-05: April Fool’s Day: Budding with the enemy

I started the day with no recognition of what the day it was…of course I knew it’s April 1^st…the thing I didn’t remember is that it’s also what we call ‘April Fool’s day’

Ancient cultures, including those as varied as the Romans and the Hindus, celebrated New Year's Day on April 1. It closely follows the vernal equinox (March 20th or March 21st.) In medieval times, much of Europe celebrated March 25, the Feast of Annunciation, as the beginning of the new year.

In 1582, Pope Gregory XIII ordered a new calendar (the Gregorian Calendar) to replace the old Julian Calendar. The new calendar called for New Year's Day to be celebrated Jan. 1. Many countries, however, resisted the change. In fact, some European countries held out for centuries (Scotland until 1660; Germany, Denmark, and Norway until 1700; and England until 1752).

In 1752, Great Britain finally changed over to the Gregorian Calendar, and April Fool's Day began to be celebrated in England and in the American colonies. Some believe it sort of evolved simultaneously in several cultures at the same time, from celebrations involving the first day of spring.

…

So I started my day as usual…I went to collected data on PKG815 Term Project…the water vapor transmission rate at steady state by gravimetric method (sounds scary, Eh ?) needed to be check every 2 days…and the isotherm on Tuesday and Friday…for this week, it means that I need to go to packaging building to collect the data every day !

Around 2:30, I met up with Prang and Turk to collect the data together (we share the bucket for isotherm determination)…actually P’Oh’s suppose to be helping Turk when he weight the sample, but she had PKG455 class, so I had to help him out after finished mine and Prang’s…no big deal :)

Then we went to buy the ingredients for Mee-Krob and Kie-Sa-Te which we will bring to International party at Dr.Harte’s house tonight.

By the time we got to Prang’s apartment, Mod was busy cooking Kie-Sa-Te which I single-handed sliced and seasoned 8 lb of chicken myself, yesterday.

...

With Kei-Sa-Te cooking in Mod’s apartment, I, Prang and Turk used Prang’s apartment as a head-quarter for Mee-Krob.

Tell you what, if somebody tell me one day I’ll have to make Mee-Krob…I’ll consider them as stranger who don’t know me at all…what am I, a chief ?

Anyway it did happen today :P...and we have learned that we need more than 1 people to make it edible…with Turk throw the dried noodle down into the pan with boiling oil, I wait for the right moment to take the whole thing off the pan and Prang…hold the big tray for me to dump the fried noodle in…

...

Eventually, it’s only I and Turk at frying station…Prang’s off for preparing the dressing ingredients.

...

Around 5 Pm, P’Oh showed up to help. She said she can hear the screaming, laughing and chatting the minute she turn the corner of the road (the apartment is actually 50 m from the main road !)…and once she had a sight of the apartment she saw the thick band of smoke pouring out from Prang’s window…that’s the case when the oil’s heated pass it’s smoke point.

...

Just half and hour after we started frying the noodle, there’s smoke everywhere…and I had to borrow Prang’s glasses to partly cover my eyes…every 20-30 min, I and Turk had to get some fresh air at the balcony and whip the tear from our eyes at the same time.

...

It was a nightmare…yet I found it’s a rare opportunity to get to know the people I meet everyday a lot better…especially Turk.

...

Prang’s easy going person…probably too easy...

...

Mod’s a very determined and demanding one…and the only person Turk listens to…with no objection…at all

…

since I met the man, Turk, he’s always sarcastic…yet he’s like a little boy who enjoys praise from other...and if you know me quite well,… you’ll know that he’s not gonna get such sweet words from me :P

so whenever I was alone with Turk, I always feel the urge to run away…not because I don’t like him, it’s because I don’t know what to talk…we have nothing in common.

But when we are with other…Prang, Mod, P’Oh, P’Kate, P’Na, etc…I can always find stuff to talk about him, especially about his romance with Nong Am and Mod (from my point it’s the truth…but I still don’t know him well enough to verify my suspicious :P)…so, he marked me as his greatest enemy.

…

but things seem really different today, I had no idea what the heck’s going on with him.

…today, there’s not a single sarcastic word coming out from his mouth…and with the absence of those words, I found a very passionate and fun-to-be-with person…

…it’s probably this new character that made the atmosphere when we went out to get more ingredients and pick up additional tray together (around 5:30-6 pm) a very pleasant situation

It was the first time I can look straight into his eyes…and smile

...

I’m not sure you can understand this feeling. It’s the feeling when you found that the person you always think might hate you, was actually like you :)

…

well, there’re some moment when we cooking together and when we were at the party together that he said something like…you like me, don’t you ? …

…I looked at him as if to say…what ?...what is the matter with you today ?

…he said that like 4-5 times today…and I’m not gonna analyze what does he really mean…

…

It was after Prang told me that she and Mod decided to do something fun on April Fool’s day…and that was to pair I and Turk…just for today…that it struck me…that maybe all that happened today was a lie…

…that I was fooled all day to think that Turk actually like me (as a friend…don’t even think he’ll like me as something else)

…that, perhaps, this whole wonderful day of me getting to know all of them…to finally feel like I might belong here…was just a cruel joke…on April Fool’s day...

03-02+...+25-05: There're something about my straight face...

It’s Friday, March 25^th.

Nothing’s really special during this passing period, March 2^nd-25^th …um…come to think of it…It has been some changes though.

Let see…

1. I got in to a fight via email with P’Pong, Ajarn Tanus, about some crazy name calling thing…it was too stupid to talk about….after that every email I sent to him (about work, of course) has never been replied :( …I hope he’s just busy, not angry…’coz if such a small conflict like this can offense him this long…I think I’ll never work with him peacefully…well…we’ll see.

2. I do go to bed earlier than before…these days it’s 2-2:30 am rather than 4 am as usual…and this habit developed during my first Spring break

3. I’ve become Mod’s number 3 girlfriend…as she claims herself as a true lesbian…with Terk as girlfriend number 3 !!!...tell you what packaging people is always a bit crazy :)

4. I’m using Mozilla Firefox instead of Internet Explorer…according to Mod and Terk (who’re kindda invited themselves into my apartment one day) it’s the safer system, so I switched to MF about a week ago.

5. I got this 10 years old Gumball machine for 5 bucks…now, call me crazy…, but I can stare at it for 15 min with the smile on my face…it just makes the room look so cheerful :) :) :)

6. I got 99 from 100 with a –very good- compliment for my first report…which I have to say I’m really happy about it ‘coz Terk got 98 !!!...555…anyway, that 100 will make only 5% in the final mark…, so let’s don’t make a big deal out of it, shall we ?

7. I switched from drinking Vitamin D added milk to 2% reduced fat milk…’coz the taste of the first one’s suck :P

8. I got PC from Sai, my FT1 student, she sent me PC of Kan’s pic, Chinese keychain which means beautiful friendship, a letter and a CD…which, after listen to the first 3 songs, made me miss my student so bad…I cried about an hour or 2 :(

March 2nd - 25th


…I’m always feel really guilty about coming here, I feel like I left them behind in the time they needed me. Even though everybody keeps reminding me that I do this actually for my (future) students…they will have a better teacher when I got back…which absolutely true…, but what about my first students ?...they’re not gonna be around when I got back…so what’s the benefit to them ?...there’s one thing they should know: No matter what they think, they will always be the most memorable class for me…always be the dearest class I’ll ever experience in my teaching life…and they were, are and will be the inspiration to my every work. They made me wanna be a better teacher…even though they are not gonna be there when I’ve become one :)

There’s something about being a teacher…in some ways your existence might inspired some people around you…I never want my student to be like me, I always want them to be the best they can be, the better them, not the better me…and I always touched every time some of them said something good about me (even though I usually not show any enthusiasm…it’s hard to make straight face when somebody praise you, but I did that all the time…don’t know why :P)…especially when they (and Off) surprised me with the dinner on Full moon night before I left, …when they asked me to say something about them…well, all I feel is how lucky I am to be able to teach them…and how I wanna be a better teacher because of them…how wonderful they are…and they have no idea…how much I love and care about them…that’s all I could think of at that time…I’m sure Off will feel the same way about this…, It turned out, I didn’t say a thing…all I remembered doing was…I just said I’ll tell them this the other time…that would have been hurt for them…, but I just didn’t know what else to do…guess I didn’t wanna turn their smile to their tear or something like that…every good memory, for me, should ended with smile :)

Guess that’s about it…I better get start on my 2^nd PKG815 report…and my 2^nd exam is coming up this coming Thursday…wish me luck :)