03-01-05: I’m wishing…I’m wishing…

I was the first person to get to PKG815 class today…the storm was so severe…it start since yesterday…all day…and continue ‘til now

Everybody arrive after the class start 10 min !

I’m feeling a lot better form the flu…all I have now is just every 15 mins coughing…

Dr.Rubino told us she already marked all exam paper…

She told us the average is around 80 and the highest score is 100…I knew at once it’s Turk’s !...and sure enough I was right

…

when she said she will give us back our exam paper and go through every question together…

...

That’s when I start to wish I will see number 8 or number 9 as the beginning of the two digit of my mark (it’s 100 in total)

…

Look what I’ve got

...


I wished I'll se number 8 or 9 on my exam paper :)

...

555…that is just make my day

…I was shorted 2 marks from 100, ‘coz I forgot to give the unit of the R constant in my calculation…

that’s fine…I’m quite afraid to be perfect, you know ? (:P)

02-16+...+28-05: A Farewell, A Flu, The 1st Exam and A Donut

Hi…long time no news…here’s I am :)

As some of you may know that I was out ill for last couple weeks…well, the past-tense seems a bit incorrect…I am still ill…must be a Flu :(

…

I couldn’t remember what exactly has happened during this period of my life…

…come to think of it, there’re a few things I do remember vividly

…

First, of course, the farewell with mom in the morning of Sunday, February 20th…

We woke up since 5 am and were ready for a scary-look “Big Daddy Taxi” taxi which came to pick us up at 6 am sharp…

And everything during that time ‘til we gave each other a hug is hazy…all I remember is…how losing someone you love make you realize how much you love them…

…

I took a Spartan Taxi back home (I wanted to take a bus, but the first one will be at the airport at 9:54 !!)…arrived at my apartment around 8:10 am…made 3 phone calls, one to dad and Pa, one to Chi and one to khun-Ae…took 2 hr nap…and woke up with the more severe flu (I felt a bit ill since Saturday night…guess walking in the snow and wind at the airport accelerate the symptom :P)…

First thing I did after that was to move the sofa…the new adjustment made the room a lot bigger !!...

A couple days after that I couldn’t remember anything except the pain and fatigue from the flu…I didn’t have the flu this severe in years !

…

Let's take a look a bit closer...


Second thing I remember was an exam on Tuesday, February 22nd

…it’s my first sit-in and opened book exam (with PKG802 it’s on-line exam) of the program…unfortunately, the day before the exam and the day of the exam were two days that the Flu struck me the most

If I told anybody that my walk is slow (of course, not to compare with P’Ae :P)…they will never believe me…, but on those days I can barely move…it took me 3 whole minutes to stand-up and other 3 minutes to walk across the living room to the kitchen…

…I felt the heat evaporate from my body…I could barely speak, my throat was filled with pain from every-2-3-minute coughing…

…It was a nightmare…

…

so on the day before the exam date, I sent email to notify Dr.Rubino that I might not be able to make it to the exam room…she’s OK with that, but requested that I need to hand her a letter from the doctor…which is reasonable…except that the Olin Health Center, the nearest hospital, is located at the university entrance and that’s exactly where the I have to take my second bus to the exam room

…well, what’s the point of visiting the doctor if you have to walk in that snow storm (with the mix of freezing rain !) to the Health Center and not making it to the exam room ?

…

so, I decided that if I can get myself out from the bed the next day…I’ll have an exam…

that night I went to bed around midnight…with the last attempt to practice on the question of home work from previous year…that simple unit conversion took me whole half an hour to get it done !!!

It was the first time in my life that dieing and having an exam have the same definition…

…

I made it to the exam room with an awfully hollow brain…thanks god it’s an opened book exam, so everything that you understand and know exactly where it is in the book…you will most likely to get marks from that

…so I felt like my hardest attempt to read and understand every bit of the topic we’ve covered in class before my Flu-week was not lose in vain...at least I knew what kind of answers I have to give and where to find them

it was an hourly (60 min) exam with 2 bloody calculation questions and 3 write-‘til-you-dead questions

I felt like I got quite a good answer for every question…

…something got paying off, eh ?

…

after PKG815 exam, Turk took us, me, P’Oh, Prang and Mod to shopping at Walmart and stopped by at ‘Krispy Kreme’…for donut take-out

…

Have you ever after experienced anything that you knew exactly it’s the most wonderful experience of its kind ? …no matter when you’ll experience it in the future…it’s not gonna be better than this ?

Tell you what,…while I was having my first ‘Original Glazed’ donut…I knew at once no donut will be wonderful than this…even the second Original Glazed donut…You know what I mean ?

It was like when you met the love of your life, no other man…no matter how amazing that person will be…can compare to that :)

…

Man vs donut…interesting choice of comparison 555

…

02-07+...+15-05: A Home Work Week

For this week, apart from tons of home work, there were some rather depressing periods – the before-goodbye period - …


Why do I always have to be alone ?

...

Let’s see on Monday (the 7th), I stayed at home trying to finish PKG815 for the second round…, every time the knowledge of mom’s leaving in two weeks emerged…I have to spend 10-15 min crying the bathroom, but this wasn’t that bad compared to last time in Canada :P

…

On Tuesday, we had Packaging Graduate Orientation which lasted almost 2 h…then a PKG815 lecture…Dr.Rubino announced to us that the first exam will be postponed to next-next Tuesday :) …did I ever tell you how much I love her ? :P

…

On Wednesday, I was trying to complete PKG802 home work…that’s when I realized it’s not easy enough to finish it in 5 h !!!

...

I started with PKG815’s lecture on Thursday, then its lab. in the afternoon.

Sometimes working with people makes you know them better…not in the positive way though…

That day when I and Prang were scaling the samples, well, I’m always the one who scaling them and Prang’s always there to write the numbers down…we get along on working as a group pretty good :) …

When I and Prang were waiting for other groups to weigh their samples, we saw Ing, one of PhD student and her team using one of the balance that we remembered she didn’t use it last time, so we warn her about that (‘coz we have tested them and found that both balances are different in last digit about 8 point !!)…and guess what ?...she said Oh, it’s OK…you know ?...it doesn’t really matter, We can use both balances.

OK people, I’m a little bit confused here…giving that this person have already got her PhD in CHEMISTRY (!!!) in China and are seeking another degree (PhD in Packaging)…How can she not know this basic rule and skill working in the lab ?

Well, like I told you before, when you met someone who’s higher educated than you, it doesn’t mean that the person is smarter than you…:)

And the higher education one has, normally, the more persistent one become.

…of course, part of it because once we’ve learnt more in something, we feel like we have knowledge in that something more than other people (or maybe other tell us we are expert in that something)…that brings confidence…and sometimes it’s too much :(

…

On Friday around 6 pm, mom and I arrange ‘farewell’ party for mom (?)…we invited every Thai packaging students and also P’Kerk to enjoy ‘Pad-Thai’ and ‘Kaw-Tom-Kerng’ …, so basically, before that time all I did is helping mom prepare the food and type PKG802 home work (it’s 13 pages for the first draft)

…

I spent every min of the weekend and Monday working on PKG802 and PKG815 homework…which I finished them around 3 in the morning of Tuesday (today) :(

…

I had to PKG815 lecture ‘til 11:10 AM this morning and spent a couple of hours in the Mail Library and the rest sleeping…my real day just getting start, people !

:P

02-02+03+04+05+06-05: Like Easter said...

"It nice it happen to you. Like you come to the island and had a holiday. Sun didn't burn you red-red, just brown. You sleep and no mosquito eat you. But the truth is, it bound to happen if you stay long enough. So take that nice picture you got in your head home with you, but don't be fooled. We lonely here mostly too. If we lucky, maybe, we got some nice pictures to take with us."

...

after all, the only thing we will get from this world is the memories :)

...

:P...sorry for my absence again...but it's nothing to report so far

...

On Wednesday, I stayed at home and finally finished reading PKG815...just the first round...I'll need at least 2-3 times more before all those miracle chemistries will sink into my brain :(


P.S. I think mom is trying to get used to being packaging graduate's mom :)

...

On Thursday, I had PKG815 class 'til 11:10 AM

As Lily asked us what we will going to do as soon as the lecture finished...I was irritated by the fact that I have to stay 'til 3 pm to attend PKG432 laboratory without any useful thing to do...

but wait a minute...Yeah !...I still need to talk to Dr.Singh about my 'Individual study'...which I've planned to do this coming summer...

Actually I had sent an email to him about this and asked for his convenient time that I can discuss the issue with him. He told me to go and talk to him (in his office) on Tuesday...2 weeks ago :P

Hey !, it's no 'coz I didn't try to talk to him..., but every time I went to his office (every day in the first week of our suppose-to-happen meeting...then every couple days in the second week)...he's not there !!!

and the same thing happened...

so I went to International Center Building for lunch with P'Oh and Terk...it turned out to be the 2-hour meal !...first we discussed about Hollywood (what ?), then being a Gay's friend and finally...Thai high society...it was fun :)

as soon as I got back Prang and P'Oh urged me to Dr.Singh office...and he's there :) :) :)

It's least-than-1-minute meeting...and I had loads of homework to do 'til our next meeting...

then around 3 PM...I just realized that the lab. manual I brought with me is PKG815's not 432's (and P'Oh forgot to bring hers)...

...

well, at least I had a talk with Dr.Singh today :P

...

On Friday, I went with mom to 'Capital Complex'...unfortunately the camera automatically turned off after we took our 3rd photo !...apparently we forgot to charge its batteries :P


Our first photo (the other two are more or less the same) :(

...in the building, we joined the group of elementary school students and their parents for a tour

it was somehow strange to be the only 2 Asian people...also those not-so-friendly eyes (I'll say 70% of the group) made me felt uneasy...well, perhaps they didn't know the fact that we can't choose our origin, we can only choose what we want to be and how we will live our lifes :) (smile ironically)

...

On Saturday, we, I and mom, had a 2 and a half-hour shopping at the mall and came back home

Once I saw mom's flight schedule...It occured to me that I'll have only 2 weeks with her 'til we meet again...in the future

I felt really sad...the time to say goodbye is coming...

...in the same time I know she need to go back...every important thing in her life is in Thailand...her 'real' life is in Thailand :) (smile sadly)

and with her gone...I'll be able to concentrate on what I have to do more...'til we meet again :)

yet...the more I think of this coming event, the more miserable I've become...

:(

...

Today, I's trying to finish the 3rd chapter of PKG802...still 20 pages to go and this is 11 PM !!!

it will be a long night, baby :)


Mom making 'Pork ball' today...it's great !



My usual activities: reading on the couch and searching for the food



Mom's usual activities: snacking, surfing internet...and cooking

02-01-05: 11 h

Today I woke up real early (7 AM) to attend PKG815 lab at 9 AM…OK 9 may be not that early…, but don’t forget it’s now 30F !!

The most difficult time is the moment you have to force yourself to get off those warm blanket…and walk to the bathroom :P

But once you washed up…it’s a different story :)

Thanks god today is quite warm (it’s 20F something, last week)…

I got to the building at 8:50…and got a phone call from Li, our TA, around 8:57 to notify us that he’ll be late…’coz he’s having a car accident !!!...don’t worry lots of people told me that this kind of trouble’s usually happen to Li…and it’s too often…to believe

:)

So we started our experiment around 9:40…and got to the class of PKG815 lecture around 10:35…15 min late…only to sit down for 10 min, then headed back to Packaging Building to have a quick look on our new machine for permeability measurement

…Continued our Isotherm lab. with Li

…went out for lunch at International Building

…and spent the rest of the time (including waiting for the pressure inside the vacuum oven to reach atmosphere pressure and waiting for the sample to cool down) ‘til 6 PM on Isotherm experiment again !...

When the time I got home…it’s almost 7 PM…it’s freezing out there :(

Then spent about an hour to edit the pics that mom took…and rearrange them so you can see what’s my apartment look like…

…


Room#27 @ CedarView Easr Apartment

…gotta go…Law&Order SVU is on !

01-29+30+31-05: Ordinary Weekend

This weekend I and mom mostly stayed at home...well, since I have exam every weekend (PKG802)…I always spend my time during the weekend in my lovely nest :)

Most of my time on Saturday and Sunday was spent on reading PKG815…after several h of frustrated studying…I finished only 4 pages !!!

…still 30 pages to go :(

…

Then on Monday I woke up quite early…trying to finish PKG802 Home Work 2

You know what ?...the more time you spent on working on something, the more paranoid you will be about it…

‘coz I’ve already answered all the Q since Friday…actually I did write the answers down in the paper since Tuesday…typed it on Thursday…and did my first correction on Friday :P

Still, I’ve spent 5 h re-correcting it again !!!

Around 6 PM, P’Kerk came to pick us up to go to P’Kate’s lovely place near the town’s cemetery

We threw sort of Birthday Party for P’Kerk and also celebrated his recent marriage (in Thailand) with P’Nong who’s now in Japan

He dropped us off around 11 PM…and we called it a day…

01-28-05: A Dream

I'm not usually care about dreams...you know ?, ...(with the exception of Day Dream...which I sometimes consider them as Motivation or Encouragement...which is good :) )...

OK, back to those night dreams...which I believe I have too many...the funny thing is the one that I can remember, it always turn out to be just a dream

...but the one I couldn't remember or the one that seems like one's routine life or one's ordinary event which I usually forget about it as soon as I got off the bed...such dreams, if I had, always...well, let just say 99% of them...will be the event I'll face in the future

strange, ha ?...you have no need to believe this...and sometimes I don't wanna believe it either

The feeling of your life being controlled by someone or something or the fact that you might actually living in the Matrix...scare me

But I remember reading some articles about people who can see events from their future (come on, don't laugh...:P)...'coz something about the Brain frequency, or something like that...anyway...I believe I'm not the only one who has this 'Vision'

...

Back to my yesterday's life, shall we ?

:P

Yesterday (it's the 29th when I wrote this) I and mom stayed in the apartment...it's too (damn) cold to go outside

and all I've done is trying to finish PKG815 reading material...which was proved impossible, so I went to bed around 4 AM

That's when this 'dream' come to me...you know what ?...it was the first time since I've moved here, that I slept through the night without any waking up

In th dream, One of my old friends came to visit me at my house in Bangkok..., so I asked my mom and dad for the premission to go out somewhere with him.

Then (I think) we went to a temple...a very old and vacant temple...where we talked and talked and talked...and I felt so happy...like finally I met a person that I can be myself when I am with...again

Let's me clarify this 'feeling' a minute, it's not the feeling between the lovers, as you might think...it's more like when I was with Pa, Off, P'Ae, or Sai... close friends

It's getting dark, so we headed back home..., but then I remembered I left somtething behind, he offered to get that for me...and I told him I'll be waitting here...I remembered turning around to see what the place looks like...

Then he said...I won't be long, I'll be back soon...just wait here...

...

that's when my dearest mom woke me up...:) (smile sadly)

...

I don't know why I felt so sad and empty...probably because I just realized that I'm all alone again...that person - that old friend - disappeared

...

my mom's theory is I ate too much, slept too little...and we just talked about visiting the temple the coming weekend...well, she may be right :(

..., or probably because I missed my friends too much...after all, all the person I love...all my close friends...all my familiar places and faces...are in Thailand (or in Edmonton)

...

...

But I also hopeful...that one day...soon... he'll be back...I don't know who he is or what he looks like..., but I'll know once I met him...and I'll tell him he's been missed

01-27-2005: A Hidden Bump

Well, sorry for the absence of my diary…to those who ‘have to’ read it everyday as their newspaper…

How can I say…I’m a very devoted teacher, right ?

ha ha ha… :P

…

My day started early today, ‘coz I need to get to ‘Olin Health Center’ for the ‘Skin Test’ result

Dude, I already knew I didn’t have TB (Tuberculosis)…, but when the nurse who’s amazed by my COMPLETE absence of any bump told me that the reddish purple area around the needle stab could be the ‘hidden bump’ instead of just the bruises…and spent 15 min try to prove that…I almost allowed myself to believe that I’m a walking disease…lol (= laugh out loud*)

After that I took bus # 33 to ‘Holden Hall’…where I spent my almost-an-hour quality time taking a nap , then another 50 min of Dr.Rubino’s class (with first 10 min of trying to make the visualizer work…as usual :) )

Joanne dropped us, Prang, Terk, P’Oh and me, at ‘Packaging Building’, we walked to ‘International Building’ for lunch…you wouldn’t believe how huge the crowd of hungry people was !!!

Then we attended our first laboratory: Equilibrium Sorption Isotherm…well, don’t think it’s as easy as the undergrad lab…you (and I, just before the lab briefing start) have no idea how much knowledge behind those simple graphs is :P...at the end of this lab. I think we need to submit a lab. report of at least 30 pages long including 4 different graphs, 5-6 tables and 2-3 solve-it-ourselves equation…Welcome (again) to the graduate student world !

Around 3 pm, I and P’Oh attended another lab., PKG432: Packaging Operations, Process Analysis and Quality Issues which we voluntarily took in order to get our hands on the real packaging machines, ‘coz the course PKG802: Distribution and Machinery (which is required for non-packaging-background graduate student) is an on-line course

Imagine how effective those ‘Long-distance learning’ or ‘On-line MSc degree’ would be ?...without actual practice with the real machine :(

We had so much fun…well, lots of labor too…with the Feeder/Counter and Case sealer machines…How many times will we have a chance to try to be a non-skill, labor worker in the factory ?

Around 4 PM I called it a day…and headed back home

…

It was a very long…yet fun and excited day somehow :)

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* thanks to Off who told me it’s ‘laugh out loud’…well, I thought it’s ‘lots of love’ for about a year !!! :P

01-15-05: Double Meeting

TSA Meeting on Jan 15th, 2005

One Year in Thailand

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not someone who’s visited Thailand as tourist…I’m Thai.

I was born in Thailand and never left my hometown ‘til I was 22.

Spending 2 years in Edmonton, Alberta…and I was back with my M.Sc. degree with a rather deep wound in my heart caused by people who I consider to be like my bro, sis and friends…ironically, all of them are Thai.

So, in November 2003, I was back in Thailand to continue my work as a university lecturer with the skeptical feeling on trusting people.

...But one year has past…and I can say that during this amazing 12 months…I’ve met loads of wonderful people… probably more than I’ve met all my life.

Thanks to Off, and also Ajarn-Tavorn, Ajarn-Kaew, P’Ae and P’Rin who have taught me that the real friendship can be found in the work place.

FT1 student, Ann, Au, Aur, Don’t, Fon, Ja, Jay, Jib, Kloy, Neang, Neuy, Oke, Oom, Sai, Tom, Tung, and Yok for making my very first teaching group of students to be the best Luk-Sit every Ajarn can ever wish for :) … thank you so much to be such a huge motive in every piece of my teaching work.

P’Tone, Khun-Aey, Nong-Kuy, Winn, Ae, P’Ake, P’Pol, P’Tim, P’Hi, Khun-non and the others from Jon-Tee Webboard to make me be able to accept that the real friendship in the cyber world do exist.

For Sai, Ann, Kwan, Maew, Mam, A-Ngun, Yui and Joy to show me that after 8 years of arguing, working, crying, chatting, competing, parting and long-distance phone call…we’re still be a ‘9 monsters’ !

For Chi, for being my first love :)

For P’Noi, P’Kaew, P’Nuch, P’Jum, P’Singh, P’Bum, P’Ake, P’Adist, P’PingPong, N’Pop, P’Jeab, etc. to teach me that every coin has two sides…everybody has both angle and devil in them…it depends on what side we prefer to remember :)

Thanks to Viv and Judy who talked and laughed with me when nobody didn’t.

For lots of people I didn’t mention here – thanks for coming into my life and make me to be who I am now.

And for my Dad, Mom and Pa…to always assure me that there’re some people who can love you more than you can love yourself !

…

Thanks to every individual and every moment I’ve met for making me be able to learn and accept who I really am and finally…to be able be proud of myself.

…

You all have made this passing year to be the best year in my entire life !

…

Comparing myself now with me in last year’s November, I barely believe how much one can learn - - and change.

I was finally be able to accept that there’re difference in all individuals…and life is somewhat the chance to get to know, to understand and to live with these differences, happily.

Hope my new chapter of learning of living in the States give me the better me :)